Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Hello everyone

  Hi everyone. I want to let everyone know that I have a new site for this blog. The new site can be found by searching for  chronicbackpainsurvivor.com . That should get you to the new blog site. If it doesn't then leave a comment on this blog so I can look into why you are not getting to this blog by typing in the above search words. Thank-you and I hope you can follow my blog at the different site.  

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

more appointments

  Hello. I hope that everyone is feeling OK.
 I was in at another appointment with the Nero modular nurses today.  I thought that the meeting was about what more could be done to help my pain. That was part of it. The rest was about my wife calling and being overly concerned about my suffering. The nurses then wondered if what I was using was giving me any help at all. It was not what I thought that the meeting was going to be about.  I was questioned why I didn't tell them about my fall last time I was here. It wasn't like they could do anything for me anyway.  I was criticized for not wanting more help when my wife wanted me to get more help. Then I went and changed my mind about the help I thought I needed which also annoyed them. There is just no way I can think on the spot anymore. So there I was bombarded with Statements and questions that I had allot of trouble answering in a timely fashion. It was just upsetting for me. Oh well I guess even pain management nurses lose their patients with patients. 
   I am trying to help myself and to  make my life as pleasant as possible but it is hard to come to any conclusions or to make any decisions when you suffer chronic pain. I am the one that would rather tough it out and see if there is any possible way that the way things are at present will work without making changes too quick.  Sometimes when these decisions are left too long I start to suffer enough that the people that care around me get concerned. Try and stay tuned into others around you that are doing their best to help.
 I didn't describe my pain pump yet and how it works but keep following the blog and I will get to it.  
  Write something positive about your day. For me I had a receptionist at the hospital give me Christmas cookies today. She had made me a birthday cake in April. I left and went back home to the Yukon before she had a chance to give it to me. So today she made sure that I got the Christmas cookies. IS that nice or what. It is great when people do things like that. It made my whole day.

 Hang in there 

Monday, December 8, 2008

Hello again


 Hi everyone. Sorry for the absence again.  I made it to Sask. To see my nurse. I had my first appointment today at 10 a.m. It sounds like a change of medication is in order. More on that as I get filled in myself. That won't be until tomorrow at 2:30 p.m.

  If you have suffered or on your way to suffer with chronic pain. You will be in a pain clinic at one time or another. Even my best pain specialist in my home town recommended it. He did help but knew that the rest would be up to the pain clinics and myself in learning what I can do. Do go if you have a chance. Does it cure you, no. What it does do is it fills your tool box up with tools that you will need down your path of chronic pain. You cannot have too many tools for this journey. Take from it what you can and leave the rest!
  Getting off the pain killers(narcotics) is another thing that I highly recommend ! Can we all stay off the pain killers for the rest of our lives ? I doubt it myself.  I was off all my pain meds. for three years. What it meant was I had to endure more pain. After three years or so I tired of the steady high levels of pain. What I wanted was some peace. Some peace means taking some Pain relief. It also requires a shift in the way you think about your pain. 
  During this time with out the narcotics I was taking Tylenol steady. I was also taking anti inflammatory medication on top of that. It isn't that good to take as many Tylenol as I was taking at the time. The oral anti inflammatory bothered my stomach. I think that it is good to try this method to gain some control over the pain and give oneself some quality of life. Try it for as long as you can. Don't forget to include a good attitude during this time.
  Danger is around the corner when using narcotics. It is especially bad for me or anyone with an addictive personality. What does this mean? Well we need to have satisfaction right away. We need to be rewarded immediately. This is the type of people we are. How does this tie into using narcotics. Well we get pain relief right away don't we ?
  Did I ever think that I was addicted to narcotics ? No I had no idea what it meant. After all I was not getting high with the medication. This is how narcotics can trick you. Narcotics are addictive. The way they are addictive is what I didn't understand. Now I do. If you suffer from pain and you take some narcotics and the pain goes away or lessens what just happened ? You got instant gratification. This is the addictive pattern that occurs with the pain meds. It is not about the High. It is about the instant pain relief that we get. Soon your body will need more and more narcotics to have the same affect. Later on your mind and body will get the narcotic by making you feel more pain ! This is one pattern of pain killers. This pattern is how it affected me. My addiction came from instant relief or just some relief.
  After saying that I am still taking Pain meds. I do not take the pain meds twenty four hours a day rather I take the meds when my pain is at it's worst. I take a fast but short acting pain medication for my break through pain. This type of pain med is even more addictive. It has the quick fix capability that an addict like myself gets addicted to.
  Here is why I take the pain meds. I made the choice in my life to not suffer so much pain. To help myself to live without so much pain. I felt I owe it to myself and my family after the suffering we endured during the time since my accident. I will deal with the addictive properties as life goes on. Be very careful with any pain medication. If worse come to worse and you do not get anymore quality of life from the pain meds. you can make the choice to get off the meds for a while at least.  
  Getting off pain meds is a frightening thing for people that suffer in pain. Don't be scared try it. Go to the hospital or a rehab institute to do it if you have to. If you take a large amount of pain meds and nothing is working then taper down and get off as many as you can. It isn't easy but you won't regret doing it. It will give you a clearer understanding of how it has been affecting you.
   Two theory's 
  When you take pain meds for so long it cuts off the brains natural ability to make the pain killers naturally for you. Another argument is that when you suffer for so long in pain the brains mechanism for making pain killer is over taxed and can't keep up. 
  If you have cut off the brains ability to make pain killer by using narcotics, then when you stop taking it the brain will start making pain killer naturally again. On the other hand if the brain cannot keep up to making as much pain killer for your pain  then using a narcotic to substitute  the brain's natural ability  will aid in controlling ones pain. Which theory is correct?
   It is a personal choice to use narcotics. Please use with caution and stay aware of it's affects on the body and brain. It really is up to you. I am letting you know some of the things I have learnt about pain medication. There is pro's and con's to using them and not using them. Choose wisely and do what is best for you and your family at the time.  
 I want to ask everyone to remind themselves of something positive that happened in their lives.  For me I make it to see my Nero modular nurses. Hopefully I will get some adjustments and get some better pain relief. That is what it is about isn't it some relief. That is all 4 now. 

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

another day

     Hi everyone. I have not been blogging lately. Sorry. I have had some other life things going on. It's not that "life Things" take too much time, it just takes too much of my healthy time and then I am unable to write at the end of the day. I want to continue where we left off on Sun.
  If you are suffering or know someone that suffers in chronic pain, I hope that this blog can be helpful.  I will fill you in to, what I did  after the surgery. If you had one. Or What to do after you see the doctor because of pain and the doctor sends you away and says "there is nothing we can do". 
  You have a choice to do your own research. If you cannot have someone help. It is so good to know as much about the subject that is hurting you as you can. Like I said I found a doctor that understands pain pretty good. My family doctor could only help by giving me more pain meds. Pain meds are good but you have to learn how to use them. I had so many pain killers and so much pain killer that it no longer was being useful in my life. I tried everything available locally with no help. It was time to see my surgeon. This can be requested through your family doctor when ever you and your doctor feel the need to see the surgeon. 
  I had to travel to Calgary and this like I said is not pleasant. At the time I never flew alone. So I did have help on my  travels. I had an appointment to see the surgeon. We knew that it would involve taking MRI to see what the problem could be. I also was scheduled to take a bone scan during the same time frame.
  The tests were all done and I was scheduled to see the surgeon. My hope was to hopfully find what possiblily could be holding up my progress. I somehow thought that the surgeon was going to help. I was still in the "God" state of mind  in the way I though of the Surgeon. I was so wrong they are just people that have a skill at something the rest of us don't. I was hoping that the surgeon would just say hey It could be this nerve or that nerve or a cut here or a cut there. Not true. I got the attitude. The surgeon said "it looks much better than it was". Excellent statement isn't it? In the next breathe he pointed out some problem spots. At the time I still had disc material and surgical material around my spinal column.  Can that be good? Oh right it looks better than it was. Right ?! Don't ever admit to any guilt. My surgeon wasn't going to do that.  A nice talk about it and suggestions to what I could do to help myself was what I hoped our meeting  would be like. Not what I expected
 Time went on and I got several opinions as to what I should do. During this time I was also working hard to stay as healthy as I could.  I had the same surgeon say that he would fuse my thoracic vertebra together. He had gave me a prescription for a back brace and it was custome made for me in alberta. I had it fit and if that helped allot then a fusion would probably help too.Very unusual surgery at thoracic spine. This surgery was very rarely done. I talked to three other surgeons they all said "no way not at the thoracic area"  The surgeons were scared of more surgery in the area. During the first surgery the surgeon cut a artery that runs up the length 0f the spine. This is now a concern with every other surgeon. Scare tissue and just the location didn't make me a good candadite for the fusion.
  Back home I was laying around in more pain. IT was not good. I would try and use Ice and heat. It just was nasty pain all the time. I tried everything and it just didn't work. In the mean time I was taking more drugs for pain. I also saw an eastern doctor. He just didn't want to try anything because it was too complicated. Or maybe he knew what he had to offer just wouldn't work! I also was trying acupucture. The muscles were so tight in my injury area that they could barely get the needle in.
  I went out to a rehab. place in calgary that was tied into my surgeon somehow. I think he owned the building. It was awkward for me there. There were physios, kiniseologist all kinds of rehab. people that were going to help me. If I stayed there a day it was a day too long. IT was so bias in favor of insurance companies and surgeons. It was little help. I did meet a doctor there that was willing to give me an injection into the area around the disc. It would give me some relief and if not I would certainly be sure that where he injected it was where I was hurt.  It  was a big needle that was incerted into my back while I was on my stomach. The needle was pushed in until the needle hit my vertabre and then it was slid along the vertibra and the contents of the needle released into my spinal area. The nurse looked at me and said allot of people have passed out from that. Now you tell me.  It definately was the right spot. A whole syringe was injected and It felt like the top of my head was going to come off.
  The same doctor was the first to sit down with me and say look you are not going to get much better from this condition. Man I hated to hear that. I was so upset when he told me that. I had a pretty good Idea that I may never get better but when I heard it from a doctor it was the worst news I could have gotten at the time. I spent a couple of weeks there and never really got much out of it.
  I was back home again doing the same thing looking for help. I searched hi and low for something that may help. I studied all I could about the injury. My pain doctor here suggested that I go to a pain clinic rehab center.  I agreed and I was off to Alberta. It was a three week program. By this time I was so drugged up and in so much pain I was desperate for help. I was so weak at this time I could barely stand up. I was wearing the back brace often because it help a little to provide stability in the area. The back brace was also weakening the muscles around my back. This is another reason I may feel so weak at the time.
  The first thing they tell you at the clinic is that you need to get off the pain killers. I agreed with them on this point. It would be hard to access a patient that has a back brace on and is on a tonne of pain killers.
  During my stay at the rehab facility I learned many coping skills that relate to chronic pain. These skills are very helpful if you can learn them. Some coping skills  you remember well and use all the time others you have to find again.
  I cannot remain seated at the computer any longer I must go lay down. One thing that happened to you today that was positive. Today I had alot of things go wrong. When I look back on the day it is difficult to think of positive!  I had a good talk with my doctor today. He had a positve out look on my pain pump and was sure that the doctor would find a dosage or a combination of drugs that would help my pain/quality of life. I look forward to my trip to see the doctor